How to choose a habit that sticks.
When most people think about the habits they want to build, they naturally start by considering the outcomes they want to achieve. "I want to lose weight." Or, "I want to quit drinking.”
The alternative, and what we recommend as a better approach is to build what we call “identity-based habits”. This helps you focus on who you wish to become, not what you want to achieve. (A great expansion on this concept is from the book “Atomic Habits”).
Anyone can convince themselves to workout or drink a gallon of water once or twice, the problem is if you don’t shift your mindset to align your identity with that behavior, then it becomes almost impossible to stick with it long term enough to actually achieve the changes you desire. And even then those results are only short-lived and often people fall off even harder than when they began because they never let those habits become part of who they are.
Examples:
The goal isn’t to lose 10lbs, the goal is to become someone who works out 5-6 x per week.
The best kind of motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say “I’m the type of person who wants this.” It’s something very different to say “I’m the type of person who is this.” The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the idea that you are the type of person you aspire to be. And the more you reinforce that identity , the more inspired you will be to fight to keep it, thereby repeating that habit.
Each habit is like a vote: “Hey, maybe this is who I am.” No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, and the momentum builds, and the consistency shines through, so to does the evidence of your new identity. And when your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing behavior change. You are simply acting like the type of person you already believe you could be.
So, I’ll leave you with this: think about your ideal self, who do you aspire to be, and ask, “Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want, and what does their weekly habits look like?”.
